No leg to stand on

(If you are one of those politically-correct people, then I would advise you to skip the following entry)

LONDON: One-legged nutter, Heather Mills McCartney has said that she is feeling better after venting her rage against estranged husband Paul McCartney and the media in a series of television interviews last week.

The Captain Ahab of the ‘former spouse’ world embarrassed herself on live TV after she spewed forth a completely incoherent tirade against the media.

Heather is planning on a campaign to get European legislation to curb news media. Her peg-leg, however, quite likes the media spotlight.

Some cracking jokes about Heather

A South African miner loses a leg in an accident.
He cries 'Oh no! Who's going to want a one legged gold digger now?'
To which Paul McCartney shouts 'Me!'

A journalist asks Paul McCartney if he'll ever go down on one knee again.
Paul replies, “I'd prefer if you called her Heather.”

Paul McCartney has decided to bury the hatchet and bought his wife Heather an X’Mas present. He has bought her a pure gold prosthetic leg. However, it is not going to be her main X’Mas present. It is only meant to be a stocking filler.

Paul was upset with his wife Heather Mills because her favorite music was Hip Hop.

Paul McCartney's divorce could cost him billions and he won't have a leg to stand…er, I mean she won't have a leg to…. Divorce can be so complicated.